


Think About Me (Very Very Very Much)

by megaradoll



Category: I.O.I (Band), JBJ (Band), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Change of POVs, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Slow Burn, Smoking, a little comedic but serious when it's needed, a little crossdressing I guess, but it's not angsty, many more characters and relationships mentioned, sassy! Jihoon, sibling shenanigans, there's some cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-08 15:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14697486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megaradoll/pseuds/megaradoll
Summary: Jihoon seems to come from a cartoon and Woojin's life is a boring soap opera.Then a broken lighter happens.Or well, used up lighter. He did break it. It being broken isn't a part of its fault.alternatively, two people lost in two different ways and two worlds connected much more than they seem.





	1. lighter and glitter | Woojin

"Fuck!"  


Woojin lifts his eyebrows, quietly laughing to himself, and looks around in a search of the source of the sound ringing in the midnight’s air. It isn't a hard task - barely a few meters away from the shop he just came out of there is a person looking rather pissed off who also, right when he turns around, throws a small object on the ground and huffs so loudly Woojin can hear it as clear as if he was standing next to them. The angry someone has heeled platform shoes on, is covered by an oversized bright yellow sweater and has combed up short hair looking somehow sparkly and gold. He realises he is staring only when said person jerks their head in his direction like they felt his gaze on them and shoots him a death glare. They are surely very expressive and Woojin can't say he isn't impressed.  


"Got any problem? Or a lighter, at least?"  


Woojin laughs once again, this time loudly and shamelessly. It's all so surreal, as if the person walked out of a cartoon missing the universe they were supposed to arrive at. He realises that a lighter was the object now laying on the ground broken by the impact it met the pavement with. The boy's - now judging by the voice Woojin knows he's a boy, even though in addiction to all other unusual elements he also has pretty heavy makeup on - bad mood is so overdrawn, _he_ is so overdrawn in general, Woojin is entertained more than he was in a long time. He takes the few steps that distance them from each other and searches his pockets for a while, stupid grin still on his face.  


"Yeah, yeah, laugh at a poor frail human in crisis. Gods hate me, I swear, and I have done not one thing wrong today." The boy sighs. "Or in a few hours at least, morning's too far away to remember it. Whatever, I don't deserve it." He groans and Woojin can't stop himself from laughing again at the level of drama. Up close the boy doesn't look offended by that though, it even seems to be building him up a bit. Well, he cannot not realise he is saying jokes, Woojin thinks, so he should be glad someone is responding to them in a way person should be to a good joke - with a laugh. He finally finds what he was looking for and passes him a lighter.  


"Oh." The boy looks confused for a moment before he takes the object and lits up his cigarette. He probably wasn’t expecting Woojin to actually listen to him. "I would offer you one but I kind of have only one left and I'm not that big of a philanthropist.”  


Woojin shrugs. "That's fine, I got my own." He takes the lighter back and instead of walking away joins the boy in smoking. He actually wants to stay in his company for a while longer, curious about what will happen next. His life is so boring as it is, he feels thirsty for something new, and this is not only new but also unusual enough to interest and stimulate every nerve cell of his brain. He takes a drag on the cigarette feeling the sting of remorse as he recently decided to quit smoking. The half pack he has is supposed to be his last but now he is wondering if it wasn’t better if he just threw them out the moment he thought about quitting for real. If he will still carry them around with him he will keep on smoking them. 

He sighs internally and puts the pack back in his pocket.  


"Wow, you talk."  


Woojin frowns. "Hm?"  


"That's what I'm talking about. You only laugh or let out other weird sounds. I was losing hope."  


"You met me like a minute ago." Woojin says, a little offended. Just a little.  


"Minute is a whole lotta time. If I walked out of the theatre a minute earlier, I would have been in a way to my place now and not standing here and being pathetic, for an example."  


"So your crisis isn't only a broken lighter?"  


"Used up lighter. _I_ did break it. It being broken isn't a part of its fault. It's my own decision." The boy corrects him. "And of course it _is_ more. If it was just a lighter I would call it... fuck if I know. I'll let you know if it happens some day. Or maybe I would honestly tell you if my phone wasn't dead, because I would have to have contact with you to let you know about anything in the future."  
Woojin is getting more and more amused with every word that leaves the boy's mouth. He looks at his hair and finally realises that the gold of it comes from a glittery spray or something similar he covered his platinum locks with. He said something about theatre earlier, so Woojin guesses he's an actor of some sort or at least an over enthusiastic viewer and Woojin met a fair share of them in his life, so he knows it's just as possible.

He has gold on his eyelids and cheeks, too. It looks very pretty in dim lights of the lanterns around them, changing the way they reflect the rays of light with his every brief movement. It contrasts with the rest of his eye makeup being black, making his stare even more piercing. Alluring, even. It's hard not to look him in the eyes as they seem to be pinning him down. Woojin is sad he doesn’t have his camera with him. One another sign from life that he should bring it everywhere with him, because the best occasions, even if a little sharp-tongued, appear more often when he’s going on last minute midnight groceries than when he actually expects something interesting to come up.  "So, a lighter, no ride home and a dead phone? Anything else?"  


"No cash and even less knowledge of where the hell am I."  


"You look sober." Woojin notices.  


The boy looks at him like he’s stupid. Even this kind of a look thanks to dark makeup looks so good he's caught out of breath for a moment as it's directed right at him. It may be negative and Woojin should probably be offended but he doesn't care one bit as long as he knows it appeared on the boy’s face because of himself in any way. "Because I am."  


"Then why don't you know where are you?"  


"Do you have to be drunk to wander off?"  


"I mean, it's the most popular option, I guess."  


"Uh, boring. People nowadays need to be drunk to do anything, honestly." His voice modulation is as bright as his mimicry and Woojin’s mouth gets dry. He starts to doubt if he's talking to real person in a real world.  


He finds it in himself to answer without a pitiful lag. "Well, you are also a person nowadays, just saying."  


"Smartass. Other people, then. I'm a special kind of gal." The boy takes one last drag and crushes the cigarette end with his heel.

The next thing Woojin notices about him is that the boy is probably his height or even shorter and it’s his outrageous shoes what makes him look much taller. That makes him feel better about himself in some way so he smirks and inhales more smoke into his lungs. He still has a half of his cigarette left (as he completely forgot about smoking, too invested in his looks and voice and whole preternatural persona) and the boy has none, but he isn't leaving, so he is apparently enjoying Woojin’s company, too. Or maybe is too lost to see any sense in leaving to be alone again. Anyway, he’s standing in his place and Woojin isn’t complaining. "I'm so fucked." He crosses his arms and sighs and Woojin sets on the second option.  


"If you tell me something more coherent about your situation I may be able to help you." He offers.

The boy lifts his eyebrows looking honestly surprised by the suggestion his talking might have been unclear or more by the fact that a stranger offered him help a second time in a row. "Yeah.” He starts and thinks for a moment. “So I was doing the theatre not far away from here this evening. By the way, that's the reason I look like a fashion police runaway, if you were wondering. Well, I probaby look like that every other day, but minus the gold and heels. That's just for special occasions." He adds after a moment. "So yeah, after the play we went for some drinks but in the way I decided that's not the best idea because of reasons that are not important and also confidential so I left the rest saying I will be alright and all that. But then they went their way and I went mine and when I realised my phone is dying it was all too late and I didn't manage to tell my sister where exactly am I, I have no cash for a cab and no phone for an uber, no knowledge of where to go to catch a bus or anything to arrive to my place, no lighter for a cigarette and I look like that so no grandma will be helpful. And it's also after midnight so there will probably be no grandma at all anyways."  


“You don’t know where is your theatre?”

“What? Ah. No, it’s not my theatre. Usually my friend is performing there but he got sick and asked me to cover for him as I knew the lines.”

Woojin doesn’t bother to ask how doesn’t he know a name of the place at least, or how did he got here then, because he already expects that the answer wouldn’t be anything helpful. "Where do you live?" He asks instead, and when the boy tells him, he pulls a face. A few of his friends live around there so he knows where it is and, what's more important, that it is far and public communication route is shit even in the middle of the day. "It's literally the furthest it could be from here at this time of the day."  


The boy groans. "I'm fucked."  


"Easy, I can lend you my phone so you can call your sister."  


"I don't know her fucking number!"  


"Then you can log into your facebook?"  


"I don't own a fucking facebook!"  


Woojin lifts his eyebrows. "What?"  


"People nowadays can't do shit without alcohol or facebook."  


This time around he says nothing to that.  
  
***  
  


"My name's Woojin, by the way." He says suddenly when he realises they didn't even properly introduce themselves.  


"Jihoon." The boy answers simply. He seems to have lost his energy after talking so much in the previous hour or so. They stayed by the trash can an awful amount of time after they finished smoking. They were partially debating about Jihoon’s situation but mostly drifting away in their conversation in any direction possible before Woojin finally decided to invite Jihoon to crash at his place. Jihoon agreed instantly and then fell silent and the only sound that came from him the few minutes they spent walking was the clacking of his shoes and now his name. They go in the building Woojin's flat is in and then Jihoon speaks up again. "

You know though. The fact I agreed to come with you doesn't mean anything."  


Woojin stops in his tracks and turns around to face him. "What?" He asks and realises he should have used more words when Jihoon easily misunderstands.  


"Don't be pissed off I won't be sleeping with you, I didn't ever..."  


Woojin breaks his logorrhea before it can really start, feeling kind of nauseous only thinking about what have Jihoon gotten out of his proposition. He didn’t even really think about it and after Jihoon’s first sentence didn’t even get what was he suggesting. "I know. I don't want to sleep with you. You're pretty and all but I'm just inviting you so you have a place to sit through the next few hours, charge your phone and wash your face. Sleep if you want to, but _sleep_ , not sleep with me." He frowns. It might have not been the weirdest of presumptions, but Woojin didn’t think it was justified at all. He hasn’t said any ambiguous thing. They didn’t even flirt. He’s been told he’s dense about this stuff a few times in his life but this time he is sure he didn’t read anything wrong because there just wasn’t such a thing.  


"Well, thanks." Jihoon says. Woojin would have thought he's just replying to a compliment he interjected into his statement but his words sound so genuine he gets a feeling it's more than that. Jihoon strikes him as a person who would agree with a received compliment, not thank for it. He nods and walks up the stairs, quickly letting Jihoon into his small studio apartment. It shows that he’s living in it alone - it’s messy, pieces of furniture are unmatched, there are dirty cups left in various places, books and notes are left mostly lying on the ground as he best likes to read laying on the carpet. "Wow, I like it." He hears Jihoon mumble and smiles.  
  
***  
  


Woojin plugs in Jihoon's secular phone using a very old charger they have miraculously found in the depths of bottom drawers containing more stuff that previous tenants left behind in the apartment than his own. He calls it fate at what Jihoon laughs, saying that he finally talks with sense and not "trying to be adult and sensible bullshit" what makes Woojin wonder what are the categories Jihoon sees the world in. The boy has washed off his makeup and most of the glitter from his hair and now sits in a borrowed hoodie on the couch with a cup of tea in his hands. He is around his height without the shoes, Woojin wasn't wrong, and generally looks completely different without the additional centimeters, neon colors and gold on his face. His complexion is almost too perfect for someone who smokes, puts lots of makeup on and probably doesn’t eat very healthy judging by the fact that he looks very skinny under Woojin’s sweatshirt that basically swallows him up.

He looks very young. Childlike, almost, especially when his face turns pink from hotness of the tea he’s drinking. Woojin can’t help but think about what they were talking about earlier and shivers when he imagines that someone could bribe him in to have sex when he was no looking so innocent and defenseless. He doesn't think liking purity is wrong; the idea doesn't strike him as weird, it's understandable, even, but lying and mishap to get it is whole other thing and he's repulsed. Innocence shouldn't be robbed and abused. It is too elusive and fragile. It should be protected, not destroyed.  


"How old are you, anyways?" He asks.  


"Twenty" Jihoon answers. "What, now you're getting worried you've taken in an underage?" He laughs and yawns.

“It is too late for that”, he says, starting to unpack and stash the groceries he did earlier. So they are similar in age. Experience in sex, even - or especially - spontaneous type shouldn't be that weird then. Jihoon is still young, surely, they both are, but not too young, especially in the artsy environment he obviously is linked to. He lets a breath out and tells himself he should just come to terms with it, even though he got weird vibes from Jihoon earlier. He may look defenceless but he probably isn’t and they are strangers after all so firstly it’s not his business and secondly, he shouldn't even care. And it’s not like Jihoon was scared, when saying it. He was more of making a point.

Woojin finally takes his own cup of tea and walks towards his bed, sitting on it instead of joining Jihoon on a couch as in the moment Jihoon’s limbs are taking almost all of it and there isn’t much place left. The boy shifts so he can face him. "What are you thinking about?" He asks simply and Woojin smiles. The question isn't anything special but he doesn't know any other person who would so mindlessly ask something like that from plain curiosity.  


"You look one hundred eighty degrees different without all of the extras you had on." He answers truthfully. He doesn't feel the need to lie to Jihoon, he actually feels like he could tell him anything and he wouldn't be shocked, and so he opens his mouth once again. "And how it collides with what you said earlier."  


Jihoon just blinks for a while before he connects the dots. "What, did you change your mind? I'm still not sleeping with you."  


Woojin rolls his eyes but doesn't lose the increased tension of Jihoon's figure. "I didn't. C'mon. It's more about... why did you even think of it?"  


"Well." Jihoon starts looking like he didn't expect that kind of question - and being real, he probably didn't. "I looked kind of obviously gay and lost so it was an option you would think about it."  


"I guess it's better that you don't assume only good intention in people."  


"I wasn't born yesterday to do so." He says, lifting his chin up, and all of it just makes Woojin think that maybe he was right worrying about where was Jihoon coming from with the statement. "I'm not stupid. I act stupid sometimes but I'm not."  


"Yeah, I know."  


"You don't. But thanks."  


"Hey, it's been what, three hours now? And you said a minute was a lot earlier."  


Jihoon smiles. "Whatever. Sure, am I not myself, I should have just take a compliment when given."  


"Maybe I was talking about you acting stupid, not you being not-stupid."  


"Hey. He-ey. Somebody's caught some sass I see. They weren't lying it's contagious."  


They both laugh. Woojin gets up to go to the bathroom and when he’s back, Jihoon’s already half asleep on his couch. He grabs a blanket and covers him with it and not another five minutes later the boy’s breath is deep and even. Woojin finds himself feeling kind of jealous of the ability to fall asleep so quickly as he needs much more time even in a well known place, some stranger’s flat being on a whole another level. He finds photocopies of paragraphs he needs to read for his monday classes and lays on the bed, preparing for an all-nighter in the rhythm of Jihoon’s calm breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohh my, I'm so unsure posting it! The first scene of the fic just came to me one day, Jihoon in high heels and Woojin with a cigarette and I had to do it. I have a few chapters written already but I haven't finished it yet.  
> Please comment and tell me what you think!


	2. nerve | Jihoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sibling shenanigans ensue.

Jihoon's eyes flutter open and he looks around, needing a few seconds to remember what is this place he has just woken up at. His sight stops on a boy with ruffled, reddish hair, who's standing by a countertop in the corner of the room. It is a bedroom, living room and a kitchen all in one, bathroom being the only separate space in the whole flat. 

He likes it because it’s small and cosy but thanks to lack of walls there is still room for air. It is visible that Woojin uses up every bit of space there is, notebooks laying basically everywhere, mugs not much different (now including his own left on the floor by the couch). If everything else what happened wasn’t enough of a sign, the general mess shows Jihoon he’s living here alone. He doesn’t mind the mess one bit, though, he always liked cluttered places that show the soul of an owner better than sterile and organised ones. He himself has his room decorated with lots of plants (maybe seventy percent of them still fully alive), papers,  books, random crafts he sometimes needs for costumes, clothes and makeup - and all of that fitted into a space barely able to contain both bed and a table. In comparison, Woojin’s place is almost clean. 

There is a sound of water boiling; it stops a few seconds later and the smell of coffee quickly reaches Jihoon's nostrils. It makes him a little nauseous, as he's still half in the dreamland and earthly needings are basically unknown to him. His stomach grumbles in a unpleasant way.    


"Hi." He greets his lifesaver sleepily.   


"Morning." Woojin's voice isn't as harsh as his own and Jihoon wonders if he has slept at all. Jihoon wouldn't be very surprised if he didn't. Accepting a stranger into a house for a night surely isn't something much people would be fully comfortable with and Woojin didn't strike Jihoon as a very spontaneous and not-caring-about-the-consequences type. He has to have a fun element in him, surely, his apartment and interactions with Jihoon show it, but it doesn't equal with being reckless. "Want some coffee? I don't have any milk though."    


"Yes, please.” Jihoon coons even though he's still feeling sick. He needs the caffeine. Clear coffee without sugar or fat can't kill him. “I like it black, it’s cool with me." He drags his ass off the couch he’s fallen asleep on last night. He can't remember the exact moment it happened, but judging from the fact that he also has poor memory of the evening, he guesses it happened rather quickly and it would be only normal as he himself surely is a person not caring about the consequences. Adrenaline was always something he loved and risk had to be really big for him to bother. If he had often stayed in unknown houses after parties or travelled through the city at nights with makeup on and alcohol in his veins, why would he treat this as a bigger danger? He huffs in his mind, once again thinking about various double standards in things people were okay or not okay with. Complete and utter nonsense. Besides, sleep is valuable.    


When Woojin makes coffee for him, he walks towards his phone and turns it on. Jarring numbers appearing on the screen after a moment tell him it's barely after half nine in the morning. The phone starts vibrating in his hands, messages from the night coming in.   
  


**ChungHA** [23:52]   


ur phone just died, didn't it?   
  


**ChungHA** [23:54]   


lol im waiting for the day you will finally buy a new one   
  


**ChungHA** [23:55]   


anyhow i wish you the best of luck message me later   
  


**ChungHA** [00:26]   


mom called me and i told her you’re staying at our place, though im 99% sure she knows u aren't. i tried. ure probably fucked   
  


**ChungHA** [08:12]   


you dead??   
  


He calls her instead of texting. He tells her he's at a friend's place and he's sure she doesn't fully believe him as she knows him all too well, but she doesn't ask any questions except for the one about an address. She groans and babbles about how far could have he gone and how is he getting her late for her dance practise, but promises to be there as soon as possible which will be up to forty minutes.   


"What's up?" Woojin asks him when Jihoon hangs up and walks to him to grab a cup of coffee he previously asked for.   


"My sister's going to pick me up from here." He tells him and takes a sip. "Oh my god, now I feel I'm alive." He moans.    


"It doesn't work that fast." Woojin notices lifting his eyebrows. He does it really often and as far as Jihoon got to know him, it is one of barely few expressions he shows, his face most often blank. He finds it a bit weird as he’s used to company of actors and hot tempered people who let every single emotion - real or fake - affect not only their faces but also their whole bodies. Not that he is any different - trying to stop his body language not even once crossed his mind. Learning how to control it made his lies and coverups more realistic, too. If he was usually extreme, no one could tell him he’s lying because he’s too intense.   


"Killjoy." He snorts and takes another sip. Placebo or not, he already feels the caffeine in his veins and as far as it works like it’s supposed to, he doesn’t care what made him more conscious.    


Woojin smiles a little and shrugs. "It's genetic. When will your sister be here?"   


"She said about forty minutes? But she can drive like crazy when she needs to so I'm guessing quicker. I can wait for her outside if you need to be somewhere else or hate me and don't want me here."   


"Have a little faith in me, I could pretend I like you more than half an hour straight if I needed to." He laughs. "You can wait here, I have training at ten but I'll make it. I could use a jog."   


"Madman."   


"Killjoy or a madman, decide."   


"Why not both?"   


"Right, should've seen this coming." Woojin yawns and Jihoon thinks that he may really be a madman as he is talking about jogging and training after a sleepless night. His eyes stop at Woojin's arms clearly visible because of the sleeveless t-shirt he has on. He has to admit that being a madman of this sort could be useful if somebody wanted to look like that, though.    


They finish their coffee and after getting Woojin’s permission Jihoon goes into the bathroom to take a quick shower. He tries not to pry too much but as he is himself nevertheless, his eyes lie on makeup products laying around. He changes back into his clothes, not giving it too much thought. It may be his girlfriend's stuff or he may be a drag queen, for all that Jihoon cares. It's not like he doesn't know one of them already. The products are too basic for that though, he guesses, so he doesn't give it any more attention, as potential girlfriend or Woojin just liking beauty correction aren’t that exciting. He comes out of the bathroom to the sound of his phone ringin, Chungha’s name on screen.   


"She's here." He tells Woojin after ending a brief conversation with her.    


"Okay.” Woojin says and rubs the back of his neck, a little awkward. “Bye, then?"    


"Bye. Thanks for letting me spend the night. And the coffee. And shower.” He says, hoping he sounds genuine. “I left your hoodie in the bathroom." When he goes back to all this stuff in thoughts, he realizes how good has he landed last night. Some of his actual friends wouldn't be as nice as Woojin was, and even though human cinnamon rolls aren't the type he usually goes for and feels good with, he is a bit sad it was just a one night stand in a metaphorical way. And then one more thought hits him. "Hey, do you still want to know what only a broken lighter would be to me?" He asks, grinning and passing Woojin his phone with an  _ Add to Contact List _ wizard open. Woojin looks at it, thinking for a while, before he remembers what the hell is Jihoon talking about and laughs again. He may be expressionless but he is still laughing so much. Jihoon’s not sure how does it relate and if it's even honest.    


"Sure, hit me up when you’ll find out. Or even if you don't." He says and taps on the keyboard meanwhile Jihoon is putting on his shoes. He always loves them in the evenings and hates them in the mornings and now is no exception. Some things just look better when there is only artificial light on.   


"Okay then." He says, taking his phone back, and smiles. He hears a honk from the outside and gives the ceiling a quick look. "It's probably her. Bye, you madman." He bids goodbye one another time and opens the door to leave. Woojin laughs again.   
  
***   
  


"Hey, why the fuck am I supposed to sit in the back?"   


"Um, let's think for a moment, because Chungha had to drive for your stupid ass through half the city and she wanted company?" Kim Nayoung, the traitor who took his front seat says, and he has no comeback because well, he has to accept this as a good enough argument. He huffs and makes himself comfortable. "Besides, don't pretend you don't like being in the back."   


"What the fuck?"   


"Nice shoes." Nayoung answers, her voice emotionless as usual, and Chungha starts laughing like she’s crazy which isn’t anything new. She looks up her arm to check what is he wearing and laughs even more, mumbling "of course it’s this pair" under her breath. Her laugh isn’t essentially loud as her voice is very soft, but it’s sweetness makes it sound even crazier to Jihoon.   


"Chungha, you need new friends." He groans because once again he has nothing to say to that. Denying truth is one of his hobbies but sometimes it’s just not worth it - and now is one of these times. High heels with studs don’t really essentially say  _ heterosexual male _ .    


"Oh, about friends. New ones especially." Chungha says in a questioning tone and he instantly gets what she’s referring to.   


"Hey, I at least have his number" Jihoon says at what Nayoung whistles quietly. "That's new."   


He glares at her and picks up his phone from his pocket, reminded to send Woojin a text so he will have his number too. He doesn't find him under the letter "W", though, and almost gets angry that he's been stood up when he notices new contact called "Madman" and grins to himself. So that's why Woojin was laughing when he was leaving. The nickname caught on on its own. He types a quick text and sends it, looking up only to meet Nayoung eyes in the front mirror.

“What?” He growls, recognizing the look on her face as  _ the  _ look.

“He’s grinning to his phone. I guess he really does have his number.” Nayoung informs Chungha. She laughs, of course, another one to joke about his poor life choices, and Jihoon’s close to tears. 

“Yeah, I do” He says in a mocking tone instead of showing his weakness because he really doesn’t want Nayoung to win, and then lets his head drop on the head restraint. 

“You got over Daniel that easily?” Chungha asks, no sarcasm audible in her voice, but Jihoon knows she’s making fun of him at least partially.

He pulls a face. “It has no future” He says, half serious. He and Daniel don’t even seriously know each other, their only interactions being brief  _ hellos  _ and awkward smiles when they accidentally meet which happens very rarely. He still likes him and he doesn’t think it can change easily even with his intense and hasty personality. And he knows Chungha knows it too, she’s listened to enough of his pining.

Nayoung thankfully is sensitive enough to not slip a comment on that. The girls start talking about something he doesn’t know much about, probably a topic they were discussing before he joined them so he tunes them out.   
  


***

 

He walks into his house (apartament, actually) as quiet as possible, hoping that his mother would be leading a class right now and be engrossed in it enough for him to skip into his room remaining unobserved, but he isn’t much surprised when it doesn’t happen. His mom notices him immediately like she always does. She looks like she was waiting for him, resting against a counter, looking straight at him. At the moment she's angry but after meeting his eyes with hers it quickly fades into something more of a disappointment and Jihoon’s heart sinks. “Jihoon.” She says as a greeting and he clashes his teeth. Normally she would use a diminutive. He had definitely done fucked up. 

“Hello” He says and slowly takes off his shoes. His mother doesn't gift them one look, focused entirely on his face. She's used to his weird style and ideas and is as supportive as a mother can be, the only times she speaks negative about his fashion choices being the ones when she thinks he may be too offensive for wide public or his clothes are unmatched. He knows she is actually looking for any signs of hangover or unusual shape of pupils, anything that would tell her what he's been up to last night, especially it being illegal or dangerous. “I didn't do anything, I swear.” He moans and she lifts her eyebrow. Jihoon feels his skin freeze. He doesn’t know any other person who can make him feel so little and ashamed and filled with respect at the same moment. 

“You didn't. Where have you been, then? Chungha tried to cover for you but I don't believe her what you both probably deduced up until now.”

“Have you called her father?” He asks incidentally and she storms him with a glare. 

“I didn't have to. I know my children.” She answers, tone stiff. He lets out a breath. At least his step sister wouldn't have any problems, then. Jihoon personally told Chungha she can and she should agree with her dad about him so he would let her do whatever she wants, not even suspecting her to be as fierce as himself. He knows her dad doesn't like him, thinking he is a bad influence for her and a person unworthy of regard in general. He doesn’t accept his lifestyle, his looks, his personality, his hobbies and sympathies. Mr Kim probably didn’t like him since the very beginning, maybe even before he was born, as he was the child of another man. If not for Chungha, who lives with him and not their mother and Jihoon, their parents who are the state of an everlasting cold war would probably open the fire or forget about each other’s existence for good. At first they tried to cover their mutual antipathy but the older their children got, the less they tried. And when Jihoon started to evolve into his current self, it was all foregone. He knows all too well Mr Kim’s opinion on Jihoon is one of the main reasons his mother decided to finally cool down all the fake positive emotions she showed towards him. It rebounded so hard it almost cut all the strings attaching Jihoon to Chungha but they loved each other too much to let this happen for real and after a year of crisis things started to clear up a bit. And as for now, Jihoon sometimes even visits Kim’s household. Mostly when Chungha’s father isn’t present, of course, but he doesn’t have to run away through the window if he suddenly comes back.  “So?” His mother pushes and he sighs.   


He tells her the same thing he earlier told Chungha about staying at a friend's, emphasising that he gave up on the party and decided to be a responsible adult. His mom doesn't look convinced and he feels like someone punched him in the gut knowing she has all the reasons she needs to not believe him. “I swear.” He says once again. 

“Put your shoes back on, then, we're going to go and run some blood tests.” She says and he feels even worse. 

He shrugs and replies immediately, still not without guilt. “Okay. “

His mom looks at him for a moment, both eyebrows raised. “Okay, now I believe you” She says and opens her arms. He walks into her embrace instantly feeling better but then quickly feels a sting at the back of his head. 

“Ouch, don't do domestic violence!” He moans unhappily, massaging the place on his head she smacked. It doesn’t hurt much, but the show must go on. 

“Charge your damn phone,“ She says. “Or at least finally memorize my number. If I heard your voice I’d have known that you’re sober and fine.”

“Mhm.” He murmurs and they both know it's not gonna happen. “Sorry and thank you.” He says. 

She smirks. “What are you thanking me for? You're still grounded.”

That shuts him up for a moment. “What the hell? I didn't do anything!”

“Language. You said you'll be back by midnight meanwhile your phone was dead and you appeared in the morning looking afterparty tired and in your platform boots. Are you sure?”

He groans. “Can Donghan come over at least?”

“Yes, he can. Let's try banning you only for evenings, this time. Now shoo, the Bae kid will be here for his class soon.”

Jihoons agrees, feeling like it’s sort of an upgrade anyways, and walks up the stairs to his room, hearing his mother voice when he’s almost at the top. “And tell your sister she’s not at all smart lying to me. She better be ready for a talk, too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is so many trainees from both seasons of Produce (and the third one is soon coming so... there's going to be only more) I love, I had to put the girls in, too. How did you like them? It's not the last nor least of them (and surely not last of the sibling thing (｀∀´)Ψ)! :D And how did you like the first insight into Jihoon's mind? 
> 
> I've changed my thought on a few things mentioned in this chapter more than once so I hope everything's fine... I have the tendency to be blind on stupid mistakes I make so if you notice anything anytime, tell me, haha.  
> <3


	3. alright at best | Woojin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More sibling shenanigans and some developments.

Woojin falls on the beanbag down the corridor Kang Mina’s now having her last class of the day at and immediately relaxes.

The cushions are his favourite thing out of everything on the campus and if he could, he would actually bless the person who came up with the idea. The first time he saw them he thought it's a little weird to lay down on the ground of the university building while being perfectly in public, as then he still believed university was supposed to be the home of newly mature and hardworking people. Later he realized part of being nubile is also gaining the ability to chill the fuck out in a whole variety of situations, a free hour between classes definitely being one of them, so when he’s fallen asleep on one of the beanbags for the first time, he fully understood why they fit in the environment perfectly. Now for him their only flaw is the fact that almost every time he wants to settle down on one, they’re all taken. This day though he’s the lucky guy. 

He’s waiting for Mina to end her class so they can go grab lunch with the rest of their pack. They're both studying biology on the same year at the same university but their timetables still vary a bit. 

It’s not all bad because he was never the type who would want to spend all of his time with only one other person, even if he very much liked them. He is fond of being alone sometimes, and besides, many, many times had to spend bonus hours on studying because he couldn’t focus on a lecture thanks to bored at the time and always chatty Mina. With the campus’ coffee machines, chilling spots, library and most importantly a phone in the pocket killing an hour or two was never a hard task for him. He could go ahead in work or just laze, as finally you can't be productive ad infinitum. 

He just came back from a cigarette break and he can't unsmell the smoke from his own clothes and hair. He was supposed to quit, but his last two weeks were overloaded with university work and he was so stressed out he gave up and bought another pack. Now it has finally ended and Woojin is painfully reminded of his own resolve. He feels some remorse but he’s not really regretting his decision as he can’t imagine how would he come through everything he had to do in the last days without the nicotine and with constant hunger for a drag. 

He browses through his phone, catching up on everything he’d missed which turns out to be not much. He quickly gets bored with facebook as it mostly shows photos of people he doesn’t really know nor care about, short videos, food recipes and pretty photographs (he loves it, surely, but he prefers to watch it in better quality and screen resolution) and stumbles upon his and Jihoon’s texts. Week and a half have passed since the unexpected guest left Woojin’s flat and being so busy with university, he didn’t even get to think about getting in touch with him. Jihoon remained silent too, except for the brief few text they exchanged the day they parted, which didn’t really matter as they were so quickly cut off, himself by dance practise and Jihoon by, well, gods know what. 

He guesses Jihoon just forgot about it, about  _ him _ , as he stroke him as a person who gets in lots of brief relationships with people. He doesn't want to be just a shadow on a wall, though, he doesn't like being forgotten and he actually wants to get to know Jihoon better. He left such a big impression on him and looks as such an interesting, atypical person Woojin couldn't have not want it. But if the gods have different plan for him and he isn’t supposed to meet the platinum blonde weirdo he opened his door for a week ago again, he’s not gonna complain. He has a fine life of his own, even if a little boring and schematic as for now. It was a nice interlude anyways.

“Hey, wake up.”

He blinks and looks up to meet Mina’s amused stare. “How did you find me?” He says as a greeting, yawning right in the next second. Laying in a comfortable position for an hour, finally without a dozen things to do and its pressure on his shoulders, made him feel sleepy in fact. He missed not having anything on his compulsory bucket list. 

“It wasn't very hard” She says, shaking her head. “Cmon, Pinky’s flooding me with texts. They're at the spot already.”

“Help me up” he sighs and reaches forward with his arms for Mina to lift him up on his feet. 

She does it, later pretending that her arms are hurting from the hard work. “How old are you? And how heavy?”

“Firstly, mentally now I'm around sixty and currently retiring, thank you very much, and secondly, it's all muscles, thank you very much, too.”

“Oh, I'm jealous” She wails, half ironic. They start walking out of the building in a quick step, heading to one of university's cafes. “Retiring and in good shape, unusual but alluring combination.”

“Yeah, I’d be a perfect sugar daddy.” 

“If only you weren't broke.”

“Let me dream.”

  
  


***

 

“I so wanna eat this” Mina moans and Woojin gathers all of his patience. Anyone less enduring finds Mina rather too demanding and really, he can understand that, even though he really likes her and liked her since the beginning. The fact that he was able to keep up with her often childlike behaviour and always had a serious answer for her constant small problems led to their friendship. They met only in the university and after some time spent with other people, stayed as a duo at times enlarging to a quintet adding two of Woojin’s childhood friends, Donghyun and Youngmin, and Pinky, one of Donghyun’s classmates. 

“So buy it” Woojin says in a flat tone, already expecting what will come as a reply.

Mina doesn’t surprise him. “I can’t. It’s like half sugar, half fat.”

“If you so wanna lose weight start training anything” He says, like he didn’t say it a million times already. Mina cringes, ordering a sandwich Woojin is sure isn’t much more healthier than the muffin she craved, but lets her believe it and doesn’t say anything. She takes her food and they walk towards the table their friends have already hammered down. “You can go with me to practise tomorrow. I know you like to dance, it will be fun.” He says, hoping he doesn’t sound too tired.    


At the beginning, he did treat Mina’s problem with weight seriously but after certain amount of time he realised she just talks about it and sometimes takes small actions like choosing a healthier snack just to feel like she’s working while not wanting to actually work. He feels like she’s partially justified, though, as Woojin knows it isn’t even her opinion and decision that she should lose weight. There are lots of mean people that like to talk shit about other people and Mina’s painfully met some of them, as she’s sort of a public person, posting her covers of songs online. Her voice is good and her rapping skills in cooperation with sweet looks always leave a strong impression - but to some fuckers the look of her arms was always more important. And that’s how it all started, Mina constantly feeling stings of remorse as she was constantly being judged. And she maybe wanted to apply the message she got to her life, but on a completely shallow level. It didn’t and still doesn’t go deep enough for her to really believe and put an effort in exercising and healthy dieting. Woojin himself finds Mina’s looks fine and he thinks being a bit chubby works for her, but he doesn’t know and can’t deduce what is that she herself really thinks. He wants her to realise what does she want so he could really support her because as of now, he was starting to be tired. 

Mina groans. “Daniel would laugh at me no end. It’s stupid and not happening.”

“I don’t even usually work with Daniel. And if so, you could just flip him off and do your thing.”

They put their food and drinks on the table, slip into seats and greet Pinky and Donghyun, Youngmin nowhere to be seen.

“Why are you insulting mister Kang?” The girl asks, smiling sugary, the look in her eye telling him that she wants all the gossip. Woojin finds it hard to believe that people really think she's internally nice. With all the love he has for Pinky, he can clearly see that she's untamed.

Mina huffs. “He's my brother, why wouldn't I?”

“So just boring blood bound related stuff? I was hoping for something concrete. Nothing interesting has happened since Woojin took in that kiddo.” Pinky pouts and sips on her iced coffee through a straw. She’s wearing long sleeve sweater which is covering half of her fingers and Woojin can’t understand how can she drink something cold while wrapping herself up to be warm enough in the same moment. Maybe it’s just fashion. Maybe it’s just Pinky and her contradictory needs. He really doesn’t know.

“Everyone's too busy with uni for drama” Donghyun cuts in. He and Pinky are in the same age and major and unbelievably for Woojin are best friends. In his eyes their tempers don’t match at all but then when he looks at himself and Mina, he can say the exact same thing. Maybe he and Donghyun in their lives both needed a girl who is a little too extra to balance their calm and withdrawn natures. Because well, he can say the girls can be too much but he has to say they are charming and lovely and great friends to have.

Woojin bits his lip trying to hold back a smile. “That kiddo would say that you can never be too busy for drama.” He says. He doesn’t know Jihoon well, he doesn’t know him at all, but he is sure these are the words he would say and even sees high probability he did say them at some point of his life. He can almost hear Jihoon’s voice inside his head and it becomes even harder for him to stop his forming grin. 

“In his world, probably, but we have different priorities” Donghyun notices and Mina nods, biting into her sandwich. Woojin could swear that her agreeing to anything her older friends say was an automatic reaction at this point. 

Woojin slightly grimaces. It sounded too bitter and old-man-complaining for his taste. “Sure.”

Kyulkyung whistles. “What was that?”

“Nothing.” 

“Don't nothing me. Are you lacking sensations or what?”

“Maybe?” He reluctantly admits under her strong gaze. Donghyun laughs quietly and Woojin quickly elaborates. “You know, I don’t know if we have different priorities or rather don’t do enough to be caught in any drama at all. I mean,  right now everything I do is so schematic. I'd just like to do something new. But not like enrolling into new classes or trying out other genre in dance. Something… You know. Atypical. Strange. Accidental.”

“And is the princess connected to it?” Pinky asks. 

“No!” He cringes at her wording. “I mean, yes, but not directly. Donghyun, don't look at me like that or I'm not ever talking to you about anything personal again.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry.” Donghyun says not looking very much sorry. Woojin sighs. If he is calm, Donghyun is on a whole another level of being stone-stoic-withdrawn. Pinky and Youngmin thankfully drag him out to life but he was always the quiet type and now he unconsciously turned into another social role being well-bread university student getting high notes, having a safe hobby, boyfriend and a part-time job. 

“Youngmin would be more useful.” Woojin says, losing the desire to talk about his internal dilemmas. “Where is he, anyways?” he asks and Mina cuts in with an enlivened “yeah, where's Youngmin oppa?” 

Donghyun shrugs. “He had to stay behind with one of the professors.”

Pinky taps her fingernails on the table bringing their attention back to her, impatient and wanting to get to the root of the case. “Woojin, don't change the subject. Is he connected?”

He half smiles, looking at the girl. He knows she's usually really thirsty for gossip and it should be the case this time, too, but somehow he thinks that he can trust her. He reasons that really, out of everybody he could talk to she is probably be the most understanding - the fact that she noticed there’s something wrong with his attitude being a good sign. And he's not afraid she will slip the information to anyone. That's not her thing. She likes to know about her acquaintances and friends, not tell everybody about them. Well, later she could possibly use the information for sabotage, too, but he tries to forget about it for the time being. 

“He was so wild and free.” He says. He feels a little reluctant to talk about it, especially in this almost poetic way, but he finds that it was for him the most natural thing to say. He didn’t even have to think; it was the perfect raw description. “You would have to see him to get it fully. He made me realize that you can do so much more than obvious, think, speak and live far outside the box, the standards. And yeah, everybody knows that and try to do that but he was whole filled with it, he lives it and it looks like the realest thing in him, completely unforced. It's not natural for me but now when I saw it I'm kind of greedy for it, too.” 

“Whoa” Pinky giggles and Woojin gets suddenly nervous. He lowered his eyes at some point of his voicing and only know he looks back up to check her expression. He’s not bold enough to study Donghyun and Mina’s faces too. 

“What?”

“Nothing.” Corners of her mouth move visibly up. “Have you talked to him?”

He gives her a suspicious look and shakes his head. “No.” 

“Then do it. Don't you have his number?”

“Fuck no. He probably doesn't even remember who I am” He says. He tries to act like he didn’t already spend a bunch of time weighing the pros and cons debating over this decision. He still doesn’t know what to do. Negative option was more natural but small part of him persuaded the bigger that the worst that can happen is Jihoon not replying. 

“Then he'll be reminded” Pinky says, lifting her chin up, and they look at each other for a few seconds. That was the sincerity and acumen he loves her for. He feels a little warm inside and he hopes she knows he’s thankful to her.  

“I'll see.” He says and starts eating. Pinky looks pleasantly fulfilled and now he sees Mina is grinning but Donghyun looks mainly astonished. Woojin feels a little uncomfortable and flustered. He was talking mostly to Pinky, her requesting and warm eyes making it easier for him, but the remaining two obviously did hear everything too. He’s not sure what Mina thinks about his little confession but he’s more worried about the boy as he doesn’t like the look on his face at all. 

They grew up together so Woojin guesses Donghyun can be disturbed he suddenly wants to go in whole other direction after a brief and random encounter with someone who to Donghyun must sound like an insane and immature person. But he doesn’t want him to try and stop him, to fill him with his own resolves and beliefs. He wants Donghyun to let him risk making a mistake, maybe even more than one and maybe big enough to dismiss the possibility of ever coming back to the initial state. He yearns for something lush and uncertain and increasing the pace of blood in veins. It doesn’t seem fully sane but in this moment somehow makes perfect sense to him.

He loves Donghyun - he loves them all - but he suddenly feels overflowed with their dynamics. With their urge to be possibly normal, to do what you should do, to follow the rules and the past, with their fear of risk and anything that’s just too different and doesn’t give one hundred percent assurance it will work out, their reluctance to say  _ fuck it _ when you think you should say  _ yes, of course _ but don’t want to. Previously he understood all of it, he thought that all the things that are now bothering him bothered only people who have curved vision of the world. 

And now, now he thinks he is the one whose view was wrong. 

He is reminded of Jihoon, his delicate face, his reckless tongue and mesmerising attitude that made Woojin believe he is capable of anything, that he is the master of his own life and master of everything and everyone who surrounds him, that even if he’s wrong and silly he does it consciously and so it makes sense and is fine. 

And that clarification hits him harder than anything. Jihoon is wild and free now because now is the moment he can do it and go unpunished. Because if he won’t do what he wants to do now, he will never do it, time won’t go back and opportunity won’t repeat itself.

And the same is with all of them. But he doesn’t even know how to live that way, how to look at the world and where to reach to get what he longs for as he doesn’t even know what it is. 

The rest of the table quickly falls back into an easy conversation. He rolls his arms, continues to eat and doesn’t say anything more. He’s not sad. He’s yearning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy it's me again. We got some realizations, some background and more characters. Do I need half IOI and almost whole top35 from Produce s2? Probably not but do I want them? Oh yess I do. I actually like what came out of my creation of Pinky, haha, it's a little vain but I really do. Mina though may seem a little annoying and I don't know why, it just happened and it makes so much sense to me but it looks like I don't like her but she was my fave in Produce s1 after Chungha, haha. The characters just got out of my control, I guess.
> 
> But enough of my blabbering, tell me whattaYA think! ♡


	4. fate or not | Jihoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JBJ cameo. Slices of life. Forecast.

“Do you think Bae Jinyoung and Daehwi are dating?”   


“Mom, what the-” Jihoon remembers who he’s talking to just in the right moment to stop himself from cursing and earning himself another grounding. He hangs his gaze on her face and sees his mom lifting her eyebrows from over the files she’s organising by the table and he knows it was close. Too close. He cringes, both about himself and his mother’s wild thoughts. “I mean, what are you even talking about?” He tries again. Her expression softens and he high fives himself in his thoughts.

“I’m just wondering, because the way they act… at least Daehwi, I mean, it could be it, don’t you think?” 

“Maybe” he says reluctantly, still uncertain about whole topic. “But… why… they’re your students. Why would you even think about it? And talk to me about it?”

“You talk to me about various stuff” She remarks and well, it’s true. Jihoon embraces a glass of water with his hands and shakes his head. They talk about a lot of things that a typical son probably wouldn't with his mother, but gossiping about his friends’ (or something. He isn’t close neither with Daehwi nor Jinyoung but they say ‘hello’ to each other so they are acquaintances at least) possible relationship is making even him uneasy. They could always be talking about his mother’s friends’ lovelife, though, and it would’ve been even weirder, he guesses, so it’s not that bad. 

“Yeah. It may be true” He admits. “But I don’t know?”   


“Well, at first I was sure the Bae kid is a little in love with you but now I don’t think so” Jihoon puts the glass on the countertop to hide his face in his hands. He doesn’t want to even start thinking about it (not that Jinyoung isn’t pretty or nice because he is, but he’s a kid. And Jihoon may be barely a year older than him but he claims the right to count the age difference not only with years but also with life experience and personality and all that) and mutters something along “mom, really?”. She ignores him and talks away. “Anyhow, you know, he’s so insecure. And I don’t think my words are enough to make him feel more self-assured because he’s not bad at all. And if they are close, Daehwi could talk to him and help, but I need to know for sure to not make it weird for them.” 

Jihoon taps his fingers on the glass for a moment and brings out the two boys’ image out of his memory’s chasm. He doesn’t interact with them much and psychoanalysis was never one of his hobbies, but as much as he knows, he can admit that they do act somehow intimate when around each other. “I honestly don’t know, but they may be close. It’s more probable than not. And you’re the teacher here, you should find a way.”

His mother opens her mouth to say something but the sound of doorbell ringing cuts her off. Not a second later they both hear the sound of a door opening, loud steps and very enthusiastic “Goood morning the Parks’ Residence and any residents present!”. 

“Kitchen!” Jihoon yells, too used to Donghan’s random appearing in his house to react with anything else.

“Hello, Donghannie” his mother says as soon as he walks in the room, also impassive to his mannerless intrusion. Her tone is as warm as if he’s her own son. He gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Jihoon looks at the ceiling when they exchange their usual sweet words and ask each other about their day, second time in a few minutes wondering what is wrong with his mother's relationship with his friends. Donghan greets his mother in this way every time he stops by and yeah, it's cute in a way, and yeah, he could be his actual brother for everything that happened between the two of them, but… God. He sips the water and patiently waits for them to finish their conversation. 

“Hey” Donghan says, finally coming over to the counter Jihoon’s sitting by on one of the bar stools they decorated their apartament with instead of plain boring chairs, leaving his mother with her papers. He gives his glass of water a quick look but doesn’t say anything about it, Jihoon more than glad, and jumps straight into the thing he obviously wants to discuss. “You won’t believe what Hyunbin came up with. He’s fucking crazy.”

“He came up with next new life vocation?” He asks and immediately smiles before he even hears what’s up this time. Ever since Donghan befriended Hyunbin, lovely, handsome and a little lost in life guy with modelling programmed in his genome, once in a while he comes over to update Jihoon about his next resolution. Before they tried to bet what will come next and how fast will he decide that’s not it, but after some time they resigned and set on just watching from afar - and, sometimes up close, as more often than not Hyunbin needed their help. 

“Yeah. And wait for it. It’s. Fire. Performance.”

Jihoon’s jaw drops and not a few seconds later he starts laughing. “He’s gonna fucking die!”

“Jihoon!” He hears his mother mark his curseword and sighs with resentment.

“Hey, Donghan did say “fuck” too and you said nothing!”

“He’s not living under my roof.”

He pulls his mouth in a thin line. “There’s no justice on earth.”

Donghan laughs, now both on Hyunbin’s and Jihoon’s accounts and smiles too proudly for his own good. Jihoon scowls at him and returns to the topic. “Fire performance?” He asks, just to be sure.

“Yeah.”

He mouths an amused  _ fuck  _ not that stupid to risk getting scolded once again. “He can’t dance though. And… he’s Hyunbin.”

“I know, right? And that’s where we come in.”

“We? Don’t be so quick.”   


“Yeah yeah. Shut up.” Jihoon doesn’t miss how Donghan’s voice quietens when he says the last two words. So he is scared of his mother too, after all. Corners of his lips quiver. “So, he needs to pull up in dancing, as you did already intelligently notice, and learn control of his body and all that shit. And I danced a bit, you too, also I have Taehyun and you have Chungha who both happen to train at the same studio… we could cry them out to let us teach him in there.”

Jihoon thinks about it for a moment. Saying that Donghan danced a bit was a big understatement, as he trained since childhood and for most of his high school was in a dance team doing lots of street performances. He was great, and he still has enormous stage charisma and knows how to do the little things that make girls and guys squeak when he wants to. Jihoon did never find out why did he exactly leave his team. He knows only that he had everlasting conflict with the leader and after high school was short on time - and besides he reasons that Donghan haven’t fully proven himself while in the crew and probably is more hurt by that than he’s ready to admit. He is too big of a personality to hide behind others in line and only execute commands. It might have ended up as a matter of pride and if so, Jihoon wouldn’t judge. Pride may be one of the deadly sins but some of them tend to evolve into virtues around artists and he isn’t anyone to argue with that. It’s shakespearean so it’s solemn; sublime; maybe also tragically human but in such an extreme way it’s connected to everything godly, even if the connection is supposed to be a punishment.

While drunk Donghan often says that he hopes to do it all again but different, with other people, in other way. While sober, he says he’s fine as he is. Jihoon always wondered and still wonders if he will meet his dream one day. 

He himself did dance an actual bit, mostly freestyle. He doubts it’s enough to teach somebody else, but being in theatre school he has enough awareness of his body and ability to read others to help in some way for sure. And he knows Donghan enough to know that he just wants his company but after first lesson with Hyunbin he will tell Jihoon that he’ll do it alone next time so he has no good reason to disagree.

“It’s ridiculous. But just because of this, okay” he agrees and Donghan cheers loudly, embracing him from over the counter. 

“Yeah yeah yeah! Call Chungha and I’ll call Taehyun” He commands. “Now.”

 

***

 

Finally Taehyun agreed to tutor and Chungha agreed to convince studio owner to let them use it a few times for free when the training rooms won’t be taken. Jihoon laughed his ass off talking to his step sister as it quickly turned out that the owners are the parents of her crush and she threatened him that if she’ll come out bad because of it he’ll pay his price. But all went well and only Hyunbin promised he’ll buy pizza whoever’s involved in helping him.

The only catch in the venture is that Jihoon will have to be present everytime with Donghan and Hyunbin as Chungha for it being easier said that her brother is the one who mainly needs to use the studio. It rules out the option of him disappearing from the responsibility of being involved in whole process but he doesn’t care that much. It isn’t a long term project after all.

 

***

 

A few days later he’s coming into the studio dressed in sweats. The thought that Daniel may be there is at the back of his head all the time, but he had enough dignity (too much dignity, even, as it’s one of his unfavorable characteristics) to not dress himself up and get laughed at because of it just because it was an unlikely possibility. 

Donghan is walking in first, comfortable as always and everywhere, loudly greeting and then hugging a rather short guy who obviously turns out to be Taehyun (Jihoon met him a few times before but never had a proper interaction with), Hyunbin last, looking like he’d like to be invisible what isn’t possible as he’s tall and lanky as hell. 

They introduce themselves, Hyunbin’s voice a little shaky. Taehyun’s half his height but doesn’t seem intimidated by that one bit, making up with the power of his voice, laugh and moves.

“Don’t get used to evenings here as it’s usually very busy around this time. I don’t really know why tonight’s different but well, we should be glad.” He tells them leading to one of the rooms with mirrors on the walls. It’s not fully empty, there are a guy and a girl in it who are dancing to an Ariana Grande’s song. Jihoon recognises the girl as one of his sister’s friends, but can’t match the name to a face, and doesn’t know the guy. Taehyun opens the door and waves his hands to signalize their presence to the couple who are just ending the choreography, both panting and smiling with effort. The dance wasn’t ballroom, it was modern and looked very intense, so Jihoon’s not surprised they’re tired, especially they’ve probably stayed after hours to exercise. “That ending was nice, you’ve made it” Taehyun whistles and they thank him, still a little breathless. He introduces them, not wasting time waiting for them to be able to speak properly. “She’s Doyeon, he’s Kenta.” 

“Hey!” Both of them say, almost simultaneously, and then Doyeon speaks up directly to Jihoon. “Don’t I know you?” 

“I’m Chungha’s brother.” He says and she gives an understanding nod. He’s definitely met her before. “I’m Jihoon, by the way.” He turns around waving to his friends to also introduce themselves, as the dancers look at them expectantly. To his surprise both of them look taken aback and need a moment to speak. Hyunbin doesn’t surprise him, as he was scared before, too, but Donghan’s bewilderment makes him puzzled. It’s a rare look on him. They finally say their names and Doyeon nods again and walks to the corner of the room to grab a bottle of water for herself and Kenta. The two after a brief, pointless conversation sit themselves on the floor by the wall to rest for a while, promising to soon leave them alone to practise at ease. 

 

***

 

Almost two hours later they are still with them, though. They disappeared maybe for thirty minutes when Donghan, Hyunbin and Jihoon were warming up under the eye of Taehyun, then came back dressed in normal clothes with sports bags on their shoulders and a cup of coffee each plus a bonus one for Taehyun. They gave it to him and from word to word somehow stayed with them instead of leaving for rest.

They were supposed to be helping Hyunbin but at the end Kenta and Donghan are dancing to a kpop song they both previously knew the choreography to, the latter even more touchy than he normally is, making poor Kenta flush once every five minutes, himself and Doyeon are laying on the floor hoping they won’t be stepped on, laughing once at one dancing couple and once at the other, and only Taehyun is trying to teach the steps of the same choreo to Hyunbin who isn’t keeping up with the movements for more than five seconds.

Doyeon talks a lot and it turns out that she’s his age and is close with one of his friends from school, that for some time now she mostly dances in a trio with Chungha and Nayoung who he knows pretty well and so is surprised he didn’t met Doyeon earlier if they’re a squad (Doyeon shrugs it off saying that she rarely goes out with his sister as she has pretty packed schedule and her own group of friends, so they leave it at that), and only recently decided that she’ll try out some new genre with Kenta hence their additional practise hours. She also compliments Jihoon’s hair and slips a few comments about his friends, praising Donghan and subtly asking what is exactly Hyunbin trying to achieve. Jihoon laughs at that but he’s also a little offended. He and Donghan laugh at him more than often, yes, but they are his friends. At least Donghan is. So it’s a whole other thing. 

The song ends and stops for a while. “Okay, let’s try it one last time. All of it. You don’t have to do all the choreo, if you get lost check what we’re doing or do anything, really. You don’t have to know it, you just firstly need to learn getting into the rhythm.” Taehyun says to Hyunbin who looks a little pained. He drinks some water and nods. Jihoon is impressed how strong leader vibes does Taehyun have. He sounds so believable and trustworthy Jihoon almost starts to believe it may work out after all.

The music starts again and the whole four starts dancing in sync. Hyunbin follows at the beginning but gets lost rather quickly. Donghan kicks him in the butt and screams at him to improvise when he looks like he’s about to stop trying. Jihoon and Doyeon start to cheer for him and when the powerful rap part comes in Hyunbin does something resembling a quick catwalk to what the rest of the dancers quickly improvise a group reaction and harmonize it into the song. Hyunbin starts to laugh and the rest of the song they let him freestyle and make it work with adapting their moves. It’s clumsy at his part but has an undeniable charm and somehow works very well. In the end he even weaves some of the actual choreo into it, looseness making his memory work. “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” Doyeon screams and claps when it’s over. The dancers clap each other backs and she turns her head to Jihoon. “They look so good together. It’s like a team. I don’t know how but… they so do.”

Jihoon nods. “Yeah.” He agrees and watches Donghan closely. He looks purely happy.

A few minutes later they wrap up. Hyunbin didn’t make big progress, but it’s not a shock. And Taehyun doesn’t look discouraged, on the contrary he seems even happy and jokes that he’s learnt enough people in his life to not lose hope so soon.

Jihoon’s eyes don’t miss that Donghan and Kenta exchange numbers. He exchanges looks with both Taehyun and Doyeon and the two, despite the latter being good few years younger, look like a proud parents. He’s somehow proud too. 

 

***

 

They don’t go out for food afterwards because Hyunbin says that he’s too tired (and he surely does look like it) and the dancers don’t have time anyways. Jihoon’s glad, because he’s tired too, and besides he doesn’t want to eat. They stop in front of the studio to set their next meeting and comprehend their transport to homes. 

“I don’t want to hear you two coughing and bitching about losing breath not one time” Taehyun says when Jihoon and Donghan lit up their cigarettes. 

“It’s Jihoon who’s weak” Donghan notices, as loyal as he gets. “I’m losing no breath.”

“Shithead” He murmurs and looks up at the sky. Kenta winces when some smoke hits his face and Jihoon laughs at the nervous face Donghan pulls. He decides that he won’t start up the japanese boy’s topic with Donghan and just waits and sees if he quits smoking until their next encounter. If yes, he’s definitely whipped. 

Taehyun sighs. “Kids.”

“Sorry, dad’ Donghan pouts and Taehyun shakes his head.

“Is next saturday initially fine with you?” 

All of them agree. Jihoon doesn’t know what will he be doing in the next morning not talking about next week so he doesn’t say it with very promising tone, but it’s good enough. Doyeon frowns. “We have full-group training then, don’t we?”

“Yeah, we do. So I’ll be here for sure.” Taehyun says.   


She tilts her head. “So as many people.”    


“I said initially. It will be my problem to manage.” Taehyun gets a little frustrated and the girl doesn’t say anything more. They part their ways a short moment later, bidding goodbyes, promising to confirm the time later in week. 

 

***

 

Jihoon and Donghan finish their cigarettes and throw them into the sewer grate before climbing into Hyunbin’s car. “Aren’t you too tired to drive after such hard work?” Donghan asks him innocently. He’s too cute for it to be believable.

Hyunbin huffs. “Aren’t you too smart?”

“Why thank you, yes I am.” Donghan answers and opens the front door to get into the car. Hyunbin rolls his eyeballs.

“Whoa whoa, why am I getting the backseat?” Jihoon cuts in, offended. Why does it always got to be him?   


“You can sit in the front and drive if you both have so many problems.”   


“Because you are the smallest, baby.”

Hyunbin and Donghan answer him in the exact same moment and then don’t pay him mind any longer, getting back to their banter. 

This time it’s Jihoon who huffs. He pulls out his phone to check the notifications and quickly gets a full sensation of deja-vu. He has a text from Chungha, asking how did it go, but it’s not the only one. His eyes go wide but soon enough his lips curl into a smile. 

“What’s up?” He hears Donghan ask him and their eyes meet in the rearview mirror.

“Remember the guy that let me crash at his place after I covered for you in the theatre some time ago?” 

“Yeah, I guess?”

“He texted me. I think I’ll be meeting him once more, after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of work I need to do for exams came as a surprise, of course, so it took some time and the next update will surely be late, too. But! I'll try to make it extra long and things are gonna happen.  
> Ily, hope you liked it, please comment what you think! <3


End file.
